Party of One: Our Light and Momentary Troubles

Scripture Verse:  “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~ 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (NIV)

Quote: “All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles have strengthened me. . . . You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” ~ Walt Disney (1901-1966) American film producer, animator, entrepreneur & philanthropist.

Life Application: Even when we feel alone and like nothing is going our way, let’s remember that God is in the midst of it all, making eternal changes for our best.

Though certain events are more tragic than others, no one is exempt from heartache and loss. Every person on earth goes through tough times—sometimes without the support of others. There’s the loss of a loved one through death or divorce; the loss of a friend, a miscarriage, or a custody battle; the loss of good health, sobriety, a business or a job.

How do we handle these “light and momentary troubles” especially when they don’t seem so light and momentary?

It’s perfectly natural and even healthy to go through a time of sadness and grief. We need time to heal, so let’s plan on it.

Once we’re on the road to recovery, do we recognize that these troubles are “achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all”? Or do we whine and complain? Do we expect the worst to happen and see the bad in every situation? Do we play the martyr? Would people accuse us of being pessimistic?

I know it’s easier said than done, but with all the faith that we can muster, let’s “fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.” Let’s praise and thank instead of whine and complain. Let’s hope for the best and see the good instead of expect the worst and see the bad. Let’s act with courage instead of play the martyr. Soon people will call us optimists instead of pessimists.

We have to overlook the temporary to see the eternal.

Questions for the Suffering: Have you told the Lord exactly how you feel today? If you’re angry, sad, disappointed, lonely, or grief-stricken, tell him. Be truthful; he knows anyway. Have you taken the time you need to heal? Have you asked others to pray for you? Have you accepted invitations to join others in fellowship?

Tips for Encouragers: Be there for others in their times of suffering. Don’t try to fix things, just be present. Let them talk while you listen. Encourage them to rest their bodies and their minds. Do what you do best: cook a meal or take them out to dinner; wash dishes or fold clothes; write a note or read to them.

The Party of One is a fellowship for those tired of dining alone. Its purpose is to share meals and spend time with singles, not singles as in “dating” singles, but singles as in a community of single diners. Single adults are encouraged to join us! For more info, please contact Clarice James at cjames@claricejames.com or 603-578-1860.

Party of One: Have We Abandoned Those in Old Age?

Scripture Verse:  “And now, in my old age, don’t set me aside. Don’t abandon me when my strength is failing.” ~ Psalm 71:9 (NLT)

Quote: “All my life I’ve been taught how to die, but no one ever taught me how to grow old.” ~ Billy Graham, Evangelist (1918 – Present)

Life Application: Do unto old people as you would have others do unto you when you’re old. Why? Because the Lord said so.

When I read that even Billy Graham didn’t know how to grow old, I realized I didn’t either. The superficial things floating around in my shallow pool of knowledge on old age were cataracts, prunes, bunions, early bird specials, and bowel blockage—not necessarily in that order.

Oh, yeah, I forgot, short term memory loss. It’s what causes seniors to remember gas prices from the 1940s but forget to put their teeth in. And so what? If showing respect to a senior by listening to them talk about their past is the worst thing we have to do on this side of heaven, then what is our problem?

You guessed it. Selfishness. We don’t want to take the time—but they will freely share theirs. We don’t think they have anything to teach us. How about patience? Their stories are boring. So are ours to the younger generation. They talk about the old days. Are the new ones so great?

When was the last time you approached an elderly person to start a conversation? Yes, it’s true, they might talk about their eating habits and bodily fluids. But I bet if you ask more interesting questions, you might get more interesting answers: What is the most exciting thing you’ve ever done in your life? Where is the most exotic place you’ve visited? What was your first car? What was school like? What did you want to be when you grew up?  Who was president when you were young? What kind of music did you listen to? What were your hobbies? Who was the first real love of your life? Tell me about your salvation experience?

I’ll be the first to admit this muscle called Patience is one I need to exercise more. Perhaps we can all start by listening to those who have lived longer. They have the experience to teach us.

I’ll be the first to admit this muscle called Patience is one I need to exercise more . . . Huh?  What? I said that already. Oh. Never mind.

Questions for Seniors: What example are you setting for those who will be seniors one day? Do you encourage or criticize? Do you bellyache or praise? Do you see good or only bad? 

Tips for Encouragers: Don’t tell them you care; show them. Slow down long enough to ask an older person how they’re doing. Then sit with them and take time to listen—even if you’ve heard it all before.

The Party of One is a fellowship for those tired of dining alone. Its purpose is to share meals and spend time with singles, not singles as in “dating” singles, but singles as in a community of single diners. Seniors are encouraged to join us! For more info, please contact Clarice James at cjames@claricejames.com or 603-578-1860.

Party of One: God Places the Lonely in Families

Scripture Verse: “God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.” ~ Psalm 68:6a (NLT)

Quote: “The trouble is not that I am single and likely to stay single, but that I am lonely and likely to stay lonely.”  ~ Charlotte Brontë, British Novelist (1816-1855)

Life Application:  How does the Lord place the lonely in families? Simple. He uses me and He uses you—the family of God.

Sometimes we Christians can be oblivious to the needs of those around us. It’s not intentional—it’s often the busyness of life standing in our line of sight. We’re active in other ministries; we’re chasing toddlers or taxiing children; we’re focused on our career; we’re attending school; or we’re socializing with people with whom we have more in common.

Since we’re fallible human beings, sometimes our “oblivion” can be intentional: We’re too tired; we want to do what we want to do; we don’t feel like reaching out; we’re numb to the feelings of others; we feel inadequate; or we’re so busy we actually envy those who have time alone!

The Holy Spirit is never oblivious or numb to the needs of others. He also knows what we are capable of doing and when and how we can help.

When we make a concerted effort to be in tune with His Spirit, we will see what He sees: The “never-been-marrieds” who pray for a spouse; those carrying the stigma of divorce; men and women suffering grief; the elderly feeling unappreciated; the single mother who needs “grown-up” time; the person whose spouse is serving in the military overseas; the caregiver in need of respite; or the disabled and/or those with special needs.

Once we see what God wants us to see, He will show us how we can help. Don’t be afraid; He will only give us as much as we can handle. Let’s start by tuning in to His voice.

Questions for Singles: When are your most lonely times? What do you do to combat them?

Tips for Encouragers: At church, seek out those who attend weekly services alone. Introduce yourself to them and follow-up more than once. As God’ Spirit directs, invite them to join you for a meal or to attend an event together.

The Party of One is a fellowship for those tired of dining alone. Its purpose is to share meals and spend time with singles, not singles as in “dating” singles, but singles as in a community of single diners. To join us, please contact Clarice James at cjames@claricejames.com or 603-578-1860.

Chance to Be Featured in 2012 Thanksgiving Issue of In Touch

For a chance to be featured in the 2012 Thanksgiving issues of In Touch, send a real-life story of God’s faithfulness and your gratitude for what He’s done. In Touch is a publishing arm of Dr. Charles Stanley’s international ministry based in Atlanta, GA. For more information and to upload your article, here is a link to their site.  http://www.intouch.org/magazine/this-is-my-story. 

Guidelines and Rules

• Stories should be no more than 500 words in length and preferably typewritten and checked for spelling and grammar.
• Use as much detail as possible in telling your story.
• Submissions should be accompanied by the author’s first and last name, full mailing      address, phone number, and email.
• Entries receive no monetary compensation. [But they will be seen by their over one million subscribers!]

Submissions will be edited for style, grammar, and clarity. All submissions become property of In Touch Ministries and will not be returned.

 Go for it, Word Weavers!  Write! For His Glory,

 

Party of One: I Talk Too Much

I talk too much. If there is a verbal void at the Party of One fellowship table, I have to fill it. I fear I will get sucked into “infinity and beyond” if I let peace and quiet reign. I can’t take the pressure.

It’s not like I have great and wise counsel to offer or new and interesting stories to tell. In fact, the older I get the more my stories are starting to sound the same . . . maybe because they are the same.

Unfortunately for others, I don’t remember who I told what to, so chances are everyone at the Party of One will get seconds whether they’re hungry or not.

Fortunately, I’ve had some stiff competition show up. It’s a nice break for me (and for others) to have someone else fill the silence with their choice morsels and/or reheated leftovers.

I used to fear that there was a direct correlation between age and repetition. I don’t fear that anymore—because now I know it’s true.

When I look down the table, I notice that those of us represented in the oldest generation are more apt to tell a story more than once and not remember telling it.

The people in the decade below us will start a story by asking, “Have I told you this before?” They ask because they’re afraid they will become like those of us who have gone on before them.

Those a decade younger don’t repeat themselves as a rule, unless they have to because the rest of us didn’t hear them or don’t remember what they told us the first time.

What was I saying? Oh, yes, I talk too much.

Tithes & Offerings: Slavery vs. Freedom

As a new Christian 32 years ago, I learned the principle of tithing. Although I admit I didn’t quite understanding just how this principle worked, I don’t think I spent too much time whining about it. I just did it.

You see, I’m a list-maker, you know, one of those people who makes lists for everything. I had my “Things-To-Do-Now-That-I’m-A- Christian-List.”  I think it went something like this:

1. Read the Bible at least once so I know what it’s about.
2. Stop smoking.
3. Pray in tongues.
4. Find out what tongues is.
5. Be a perfect wife.
6. Get husband saved.
7. Be nice to everyone I know.
8. Then get them all saved.
9. Lose weight and exercise.
10. Tithe.

Since we list-makers get such a great thrill out of crossing off items on our lists after we’ve completed them, I was in trouble fast. Tithing began to look like a no-brainer.  You might say it was my first real victory in my Christian walk – even if by default. (It took me five years to quit smoking.)

Yet, despite my obedience in my giving, I continued to worry about money.  I’d think of how little or how much I had; how and how not to spend it; how and how not my husband should spend it; where it would come from and how I would get more. I’d sit mulling over the household bills, adding and re-adding, then fretting and wringing my hands.  I was as much a slave to my will and to my fears as I was to money.

Years later, when the Lord thought I was ready spiritually, he showed me that my tithing had become a legalistic ritual, a ritual to which I was in bondage. Yes, I was being obedient to the law, but I hadn’t surrendered my will with that obedience. I was giving out of fear and doubt rather than trust and love.

Galatians 5:1 says:  “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” 

I was tired of being a slave. I prayed to the Lord as in Psalm 118:5-6:  “In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free. The Lord is with me, I will not be afraid.”

I began daily to surrender my control over my finances. As I paid my tithes and gave my offerings, I began to give him all my fears and concerns. And I learned not to keep taking them back the next day. Giving became exciting to me again.

Another thing, my giving is not between a house of worship and me. It has very little to do with my membership responsibilities or any church by-laws or denominational doctrine – or even the IRS.  It’s personal — just between God and me. And I love that about it now.

Psalm 119:32 speaks of the type of obedience I want to exhibit in my life: “I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.”

Yes, paying your tithes and giving your offerings should be more about relationship than obligation.  I want my obedience to the biblical principles of giving to open the door to more of God’s grace.  I admit that this type of obedience is not always reflected in other areas of my life, BUT GOD, by his grace and mercy, is changing me from the inside out. My desire is to give to the Lord with abandon, not only my tithes and my offerings, but my will.

Let us pray:  Lord; please help us to appropriate the freedom you have given us through your Son Jesus Christ. Let our giving serve as a symbol of that freedom. Help us to release our anxieties and fears, relinquish our control and open our arms and our hearts in surrender to you. Show us how to give with abandon! Then fill our souls with a joy and peace that money cannot buy. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

God Is Never Too Busy to Listen

Last week I was so messed up that I decided I would make an appointment to speak with Pastor. Now that isn’t something that I do everyday— or every year for that matter. I guess I think he’s busy enough already and doesn’t need to be spending his valuable time listening to my problems.

But this time was different. I was upset about everything and way too emotional to see things clearly. I was determined to make that appointment. After all, I reasoned, “I really don’t bother him too much, and that is part of his job, isn’t it? Yep, that’s what I’m gonna do.”

Then I began to think about that conversation–what I would tell him and what he would say. Going down my list of problems and concerns, I thought, “It’s true. There really is ‘nothing new under the sun’. This stuff sounds so trite; Pastor has probably heard it all a million times before.”

Trying to convince myself, I argued, “But I just need a sounding board to help me clarify a few things. You see, sometimes I think too much and lose track of the obvious. I don’t want to tell everyone my problems, but Pastor would be just the person to tell, wouldn’t he?”

Again, I imagined how it would go.

“Clarice, have you been spending time in the Word?”

“Every day, Pastor,” I’d respond. “I do my devotionals and I’m involved in a good Bible study, too.”

“Is there any sin in your life that is hindering your walk with God or causing you to be so emotional?”

“No, Pastor, none that I can think of.”

“How about your prayer life? Do you pray?”

“Pray? Yeah, I pray. Well, I try to, but sometimes my Bible studies and ministry work take up so much of my time.”

“Do you listen to hear what the Lord has to say to you?”

“To me? Uh, well, I guess, when I read his Word.”

“Clarice, do you pour out your heart to the Lord? Do you tell him how you feel? Do you cry out to him? Do you meditate on his Word, then wait quietly for his Holy Spirit to speak to you?”

“Uh, maybe not as much as I should. It’s just that I’ve been so upset about everything lately and way too emotional. And when I go down my list of problems, I think how trite they sound and how the Lord has probably heard them all a million times before . . .”

Then Pastor would say, “Clarice, that’s what He’s here for. He is God. He can handle it.”

Well, I never made that appointment with Pastor, but I did meet with God. I reminded myself that:

• God loves me and wants me to tell him everything.
• God has power over nature. If he could bring water out of a rock for the Israelites, he can do wonders for me!
• God has power over all circumstances— even mine! He can provide me with any material needs that I’m lacking.
• God has compassion. He can comfort me when I’m lonely and afraid.
• God has a heart filled with love for me and for all those I love.
• God not only has the answers, God is the answer!
• God is never too busy to listen!

P.S. By the way, thank you Pastor for what I imagined you might say.