Party of One: A Step Forward

After I was widowed, I was reminded often by friends, family and experts that people shouldn’t make any major decisions for at least a year after their spouse dies. So I waited. Oddly, as soon as I hit that first anniversary mark, I thought it meant I had to make major decisions.

I put my house on the market and took off my wedding band. I don’t know what I expected would happen. Would the floodgates open and prospective buyers and suitors (maybe one and the same, who knows?) come pouring through my door and into my life? I thought dramatic changes would happen overnight after that one year anniversary. I don’t know what made me think I was ready for any of it.

Six months later, with no takers on my house or my hand, I took the house off the market.

One lonely evening I decided to check out online Christian singles sites. At first, I only looked.  Then I created a profile.  And looked some more.  Then I got really brave and contacted widowers . . . from out-of-state . . . across the country. [Easy diagnosis for a first year psych student: I was scared.]

I guess I wanted and needed to communicate with someone who would understand.  I believe those I exchanged emails with felt the same. We shared some of the stuff we were going through, and it helped. Knowing we were so far away and that meeting in person was not an option, took the pressure off.

Okay, so it wasn’t a big step. But it was a step forward.

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